Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
