I didn't shave. On purpose
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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