His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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