i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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