I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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