How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
