I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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