I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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