Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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