the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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