Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
