you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
