tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
