yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
