You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
