you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
