i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize