Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
