he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
