my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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