I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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