The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
