cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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