found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize