yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize