The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
