You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
