You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
