FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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