I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
