if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
