I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
