Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize