but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize