Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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