is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Randomize
