well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
