just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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