ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
