So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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