so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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