I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
