Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
