a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
