What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize