Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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