North Korea, Best Korea!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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