Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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