she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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