until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
