Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
