are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hippo gnu deer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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