I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
