u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
