butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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