I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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