he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
