so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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