Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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