youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
